Money Doesn't Grow on Parents

credit of tree graphic to digitalart at freedigitalphotos.net

This week, one of the Financial Post's headlines read "Parents financial supporting adult children feeling the pinch, poll says".  The topic was discussed on the radio and was picked up by other news sources around the country.  Like others, I listened, considered, and promptly forgot about it.  Then my phone chimed...twice.  "You should write a blog post about this", texted my mother.

When I first read the message, I had every intention of shrugging it off.  Then I worked 2 jobs for a total of 16.5 hours and finally got home after 3am.  I kept thinking about the young adults who still live under their parents' roof like and are supported up to $500 a month by mom and/or dad.

My parents had rules for us after we came home from university.  You either contributed financially to the household, or you could move out and do it yourself.  No free rides.  Utilities were divided by the number of us in the house & we contributed to the weekly grocery fund (I think it was $50 each).  Everyone was expected to contribute to the upkeep of the home and share in the chores.

Not all of my friends had similar circumstances.  Some of them lived at home for free and were shocked I had to pay.  I'll admit, I was frustrated too sometimes as they seemed to have all the money in the world for frivolous things.  I don't recall, but I wouldn't be surprised if I vocalized my frustrations to my parents at times.  You know how you sometimes hear parents say "Thanks nice, but that's not how things work in this house"?  Needless to say, my sisters and I paid.

Paying rent, utilities, and grocery money was a hard and harsh lesson to learn, but it was a critical life lesson.  Housing and such doesn't come free, so it's best to learn how to handle the financial costs early.  If you want to do more, you have to earn more.  It's why, as a full-time teacher, I'm also a 1x a week bartender. 

photo courtesy of debspool at freedigitalphotos.net

Gail Vaz-Oxlade, who hosts the show Prince$$, frequently emphasizes the need for young adults to be realistic and fiscally self-sufficient.  The guests on her show are pampered and drain the financial resources of their parents, friends, and partners.  Often they have racked up huge debts and have a high sense of
entitlement.

Many of my students in years past have dreams of wonderful & highly-paid careers.  They imagine they'll leave university and find that perfect job that gives them the well-decorated, spacious condo and dinners out with friends on a nightly basis.  They scoff at lower paid jobs that require them to do what they consider "menial" tasks. 

Our country is having difficulty with finding jobs for young people, it's true, but there are jobs out there.  Maybe it means working part-time hours stocking shelves, cleaning up messes, washing dirty dishes, or things you absolutely dislike.  I didn't want to do those jobs either, but a couple of wise "older" people told me once that there was no job beneath me if I needed the money.  If flipping burgers right now is what pays the bills, you flip.

I work 2 jobs because there are trips I want to take and home ownership in this area has become increasingly unobtainable.  If I want to travel and buy a house, I have to find a way to afford it, hence the bar tending on top of teaching.  It astounds me that we now have TV shows about parents buying houses for their kids.  How does buying your child a house teach them any self-respect, self-reliance, or responsibility??

We've become a society where everything has to be the same or better than what we are used to.  We've become accustomed to the lifestyle our parents now lead and forget to ask them what it was like when they started out.  I bet you many of them had many tinned soup & canned tuna days at the beginning of their journey...not filet mignon and lobster.