Outside Looking In

There's dust everywhere.  The bathroom needs cleaned, the kitchen needs a wipe down and things are scattered about.  It feels like being trapped in a small confined space with no solution to the clutter and dirt.  This is how my apartment has felt to me these past few weeks.

While my schedule isn't nearly as chaotic now as it was a month ago, I still find it hard to schedule in time to keep everything in pristine order.  I get so caught up in what's wrong with my home, I forget what's right with it.

Tonight is the first time in a long time that I have been able to sit outside and enjoy the twilight on my balcony.  Candles sit burning on the window sill and the dying light casts long shadows.  As the darkness sets in, I glance into my apartment though the balcony windows and it hits me...

Yes, the couch could use some tidying, but why hadn't I noticed how much I liked the colour?  Or how tall my money tree had grown?  The space looks so comfy and loved.  There are pillow and blankets strewn about invitingly and the bright colours from my hanging pot holders compliment my placemats.

My mind wanders on and I'm sitting here pondering, how much of this could we apply to ourselves?  We all know the common phrases like "you're your own worst critic".  We think poorly of ourselves and critically analyze everything that's wrong and imperfect.  How often do we consider the perspective of someone on the outside looking at us?  Would we have a different opinion?

To us, those wrinkles under our eyes are warning signs that aging is unavoidable, but a stranger may see the lines of decades of laughter.  We see our failures and inadequacies and friends remember times where we provided support and love.

Personally, I don't know that I will ever completely stop critiquing myself, but I hope I can remember to take time to consider what it's like to be on the outside looking in.  Others who look at us see love...we should too.